


Mr. Solo would like the record to reflect that he did not ask for this and disavows any and all responsibility

by Redlala



Series: The Flyboy disaster BroTP we were robbed of [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Fix-It, Force Ghost Shenanigans, Good Parent Han Solo, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Leia Organa Deserves Better, Multi, Past Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:15:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25412263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redlala/pseuds/Redlala
Summary: Anakin was at peace in the Force but then hegot boreddecided to make amends; Obi-wan knows better now than to leave him unattendedOrObi-wan’s lessons on proper care and feeding of your Skywalker; afterlife support group for victims of the Skywalker Family Drama (rotating group leader - caf not provided due to death); Anakin Skywalker life coach and relationship expert; Leia still saving the galaxy even though she’s pretty sure it no longer deserves it; this is Luke Skywalker please leave a message …this mailbox is full; Han Solo’s staring contest with the at least you’re a better parent than Vader bar; Chewbacca & the Falcon are both mad and disappointed in you; sigh Ben Solo sigh
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Han Solo, Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader & Luke Skywalker, Asajj Ventress & Dooku & Darth Maul, Ben Solo & Han Solo, Chewbacca & Han Solo, Leia Organa & Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Mace Windu & Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Series: The Flyboy disaster BroTP we were robbed of [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1840549
Comments: 25
Kudos: 120





	1. Prologue: Obi-wan is unfairly blamed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anesor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anesor/gifts).



> Anesor said maybe take a break from repeatedly punching people in the feels, so here is some fluffy crack from their prompts. I have never written a multi-chapter fic before so let's see how this goes. While I have a general plan where this story is going, but don't have an update schedule in mind. Work is especially depressing so it’s nice to have something fun to focus on. POV will alternate.

Obi-wan is willing to admit he said ‘Everything has been calm and Anakin seems to finally have found some version of peace’ but he fails to see how that makes this his fault. He has been arguing his point for the last thirty minutes but none of the other Force ghosts who attend the bi-weekly meetings of the VSFD are listening. In fact, Mace hasn’t looked this angry/disgusted since Anakin attempted to join a meeting 3 months after he died.

(“The name of the group is Victims of the Skywalker Family Drama! Your name is Skywalker! It was mostly your drama! Ergo you are not invited!!!”

“Well that doesn’t seem very fair! You let Obi-wan join your club.”

“It’s not a club, it’s a support group! And Obi-wan isn’t a Skywalker”

Gasp “Well you aren’t being very supportive! Besides Obi-wan lives for drama!”

The fight in true Mace vs Anakin fashion had devolved rapidly from there. It had ended when Anakin stormed (disappeared they are Force ghosts after all) off to watch over his children who were definitely NOT DRAMATIC!) 

The ensuing 24 years were largely drama free and Obi-wan always made a point of bringing up one of Luke or Leia’s accomplishments 15 minutes before a meeting of the VSFD to distract Anakin so he wouldn’t feel left out (bother them). Any mention of the twins was usually all that was required for Anakin to go peek in on them. His manic obsessive/protective/possessive streak had remained intact after his death. 

Everything was fine alright! He felt it was worth pointing out how far they had come!

“You all aren’t being very supportive!”

Mace somehow looks even more unimpressed. He points to the glaring alarm above Obi-wan’s head that has been going off since his unfortunate pronouncement 30 minutes ago. They are Force ghosts, how does that blasted alarm even exist?

“Hmmmm… gone off the Back on Their Bullshit Alarm has not until said something you did.” Yoda, the traitorous troll, felt the need to add. “24 years it has been.”

“Master Yoda as you well know, correlation does not equal causation. I simply…”

“Master! Something terrible has happened!” As if to confirm his guilt Anakin (his partner, soulmate, eternal obligation?) appeared in the middle of the meeting. Mace was now raising an eyebrow as if to say look, Kenobi, look what you did.

“What happed Dear One?” He found himself asking with growing dread.

“LukekindofsortofpanickedandpulledalightsaberonBen,buthewasn’tgoingtouseit.BenmaybefreakedoutanddistroyedtheJediOrder.Alsohekeepstalkingtofakeme.”

“What? Slow down!”

“I said – Luke kind of, sort of, panicked and pulled a lightsaber on Ben, but he wasn’t going to use it. Ben maybe freaked out and destroyed the Jedi Order, again. Also, he keeps talking to fake me. Obi-wan we have to do something!”

“Why? What? Fake you?!”

He refuses to look at Mace, Yoda, or any of the other members of the VSFD. This is not his fault!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment or leave kudos if you enjoyed and want to see more. Next up is Anakin or Han whichever is more willing to cooperate…


	2. Anakin is 86.7% sure that this is not his fault (but he has been wrong before)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin got distracted while watching over his family, but not to worry everything is 100% under control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So maybe weekly updates? I don't know. I wanted to get this chapter out before I accidentally made it sad.

Being dead was proving to be an interesting if slightly monotonous experience. Anakin held on to himself at the beginning instead of ‘becoming one with the Force’ whatever that meant, primarily to watch his children. He had never gotten to do this while alive and preferred it to the previous amputation flavored relationship they’d enjoyed. He usually watches from a distance; Leia did not want him around, and Luke wanted him around too much. They both needed space to move forward, and he was always a bit of a coward. He doesn’t have any significant insights to contribute to the rebuilding of the Jedi Order because he was never much of a Jedi.

(The real reason he hangs back is that Luke seems to believe he is a good person, redeemed in his commitment to the light side of the Force. He can’t make himself give up the adoration, however unearned, by admitting that decision was as selfishly motivated as his fall had been.)

Like with being a Jedi, one of the absolute best parts of being dead was having his Obi-wan back. He doesn’t replace Padmé, nothing ever could, but Anakin’s existence is no longer centered on torturing himself for her absence. He doesn’t have a word for everything Obi-wan is to him, but he always feels most himself when their bond is so open that he can’t be sure where one ends, and the other begins. What do you call that he wonders….

“Codependency!” Maul supplied.

“The main topic of the VSFD secret Obi-wan free Tuesday meetings” Ventress taunted.

“Sickening” Dooku concluded with a sneer, well a deepening sneer.

“No one asked you guys!”

“Right, you were just mistaking the three of us for your diary again.” Ventress continued to mock him.

Look it’s not his fault he got distracted thinking about Obi-wan. Obi-wan is great. They were all just jealous they didn’t have an Obi-wan of their own.

It was the Primeday meeting of the unofficial Semi-Reformed Villains Alliance, unofficial because when he suggested the name, they all made fun of him and disappeared for a while. Obi-wan thinks he is watching Luke do meditation or something, but Obi-wan also believes that he only started sneaking out of the temple at age 14, so really this is on him. Look he loves his son, but the only thing more tedious than meditating is watching someone else meditate. He tried the whole inner peace thing. It was boring! That didn’t change because he stopped being a homicidal maniac.

 _So_ not paying more attention may have been a mistake. The obnoxious low-level buzz of warning he’d noticed from the Force was suddenly blaring and centered on Luke and his grandson.

“Luke, what are you doing?!”

“I give it a 6.5 out of 10 on the Skywalker Richter scale.”

“SKYWALKER RICHTER SCALE?! What the? Ventress!”

“We needed a way to measure and compare the Skywalker seismic kiff ups. Some of us actually think about the nuances of a situation. I am unsurprised this concept baffles you.” Dooku is such a pompous sleemo.

“How dare you! Luke is…”

“I think it deserves at least a 7 for the amount of dramatic overeating to a vision involved. Textbook Skywalker.” Oh great, now Maul has an opinion.

“Make that a 7.5 miniVader’s destroying the Temple.”

“The lightning was a good touch.”

“I’m getting Obi-wan.”

\------

His grandson is an idiot. Obi-wan’s face is a strange mix of smug and alarmed.

“I mean people do know that’s not how the dark side works right? It’s not lying in wait in the bushes or some parasite you pick up while swimming. It’s an active choice, not genetics. _Hello_ Leia is a saint! Are we sure this isn’t just second puberty?”

“Dear One…”

“You don’t wake up one morning and accidentally turn to the dark side! That’s not a thing. Luke knows that’s not a thing, right? Obi-wan tell me Luke knows that’s not a thing! What were you and Yoda teaching him? Hey Ben. This is your Grandfather! GO HOME TO YOUR MOTHER!”

“Yes, Anakin, Luke is aware. I think we can all agree there is something larger at work here. But by all means, keep shouting. Skywalkers are known for their rational thinking and ability to listen to directions.”

Rude.

“Here’s a thought Ben, don’t follow the creepy old guy!” Obi-wan gives him a look. This isn’t about him, and besides he was never _this_ bad. The look intensifies—anyway, Ben. “You know why you are feeling conflicted? It’s because you don’t want to fall and know you’re being a karking STOOPA! Ben! BEN! STOP IGNORING ME!”

Ben doesn’t and continues to talk to the wall which he has apparently named Darth Vader or grandfather.

“This is hopeless Obi-wan. He’s not listening to reason. How was Leia not the one that turned to the dark side?”

“…….Maybe we should go find Luke.”

\------

When they make it to Luke on Ahch-To, his x-wing is already in the water, and he is in the process of hurling his lightsaber into the sea. Before they can say anything, Luke blocks himself in the Force.

Obi-wan turns to him, and he is forced to concede that, “Okay, maybe we are a bit dramatic.”

\------

He goes to see Leia alone.

She’s diminished; his (No, never his. He lost that right.) brave, perfect, unbreakable girl who stood so tall even while they blew her planet up. His rage, absent for decades, comes roiling to the surface, and that is what finally alerts her to his presence.

“You”

“Me”

“They’re gone.”

“I know.”

She crumbles then, and he catches her. He may be a Force ghost, but he is still the Chosen One. If he wishes to hold his daughter, he will. When she hugs him back, it doesn’t feel like forgiveness; instead, it’s a cementing of his failures. There is no one else, so in a moment of weakness, she will settle for him. He feels her mind catch up and body stiffen.

“Don’t worry, no one can see me. This never happened. We can say you are blackout drunk on grief and pretend this never happened.” That gets a watery chuckle at least, even as she moves away. She’s the Princess again.

“I want them back.”

“I promise.” Her nod, as he falls to his knees at her feet, feels far more like forgiveness. He never really cared much for redemption; a side effect of being loyal to people and not principles—something about the echo of 40 years ago unknots within him regardless. 

\------

He’s going to fix it (not that it is in any way his fault). For Leia. He just needs a plan. Preferably one involving as little monologuing on the part of his grandson as possible. Alright, how to go about reuniting the Skywalkers? He does have some experience in this area, not to pat himself on the back or anything….

On second thought, maybe he should get some more help. He thinks Leia might be upset if he were to cut off Ben’s hand or freeze him in carbonite, even with the whole becoming a murdering fascist thing.

He needs the smuggler. Shavit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! If people have characters you want to see join the chorus of snarky Force ghosts let me know. 
> 
> Han should be up next...


	3. Han knows this is all his fault, so just let him wallow in peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han was beginning to suspect he was being haunted by the galaxy’s most incompetent poltergeist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Han did not want to cooperate. On the brightside while trying to write this chapter I wrote a bunch of fun stuff for the next couple so the next should be out on Monday no problem (finds some wood to knock on). 
> 
> This is a bit of a transition chapter and also getting us up to speed with what has been going on with Han.

Han was beginning to suspect he was being haunted by the galaxy's most incompetent poltergeist. It was a reflection of the last six months that this was an improvement to the status quo. Clyde (as he had taken to calling the poltergeist, assuming of course that it was a poltergeist, and he wasn't you know losing his mind) at least wanted to talk to him, well someone named Sol. He was pretty sure the ghost had been meaning to write Solo and just sucked at it. He can admit how pathetic it is to be desperate for a ghost to haunt you, but this would put the grand total of beings currently speaking to him to _one_. Don't think about Leia.

Chewie had been giving him the silent treatment since he'd left Leia after Ben did….well, what he did. Ben, obviously, is not speaking to him or anyone since embracing his inner fascist. He wants to smack his son; he wants to shake him. He wants Ben to explain how he could be so stupid, so selfish. How could he do this to his mother? Don't think about Leia. He wants to hug Ben and never let him go. He wants to apologize for not listening or not being there or not being enough. Whatever it was that made Ben think this was his only option.

Luke flounced off to live in exile out of guilt. What kind of best friend does that? They were supposed to be in this together. Don't think about Leia. He doesn't blame Luke for what happened. (A small part of him that he hates blames Luke. You had faith in Darth Vader; he wants to scream. How could you lose faith in Ben? An even smaller part of him worries that if even Luke Skywalker thinks Ben is evil – he must be.) He is Ben's father. This is his fault.

Ben was a difficult baby, always crying, hard to settle. That never mattered to him. He remembered Ben as a baby sleeping on his chest. He remembers how in awe he was that they could create something so perfect. He thought his heart would explode. He remembers laughing-crying with Leia one night after not being able to sleep for weeks and confessing that he had never been so scared. What if he messed it all up? A princess and a guy like him, what was she thinking? 

"Don't be such a half-witted, scruffy-looking, Nerf-herder. You couldn't possibly be a worse father than Vader." She'd responded. He remembers how his cheeks hurt from smiling. He wants to believe he is a better father than Vader. He, for example, never cut off Ben's hand or tortured him. How is that the bar?!

He isn't speaking to Lando…mostly out of embarrassment. After his life imploded and he decided to resume his career as a smuggler, he had gone to find his old pal in crime. (Runaway from his problems like a coward and abandon the people that needed him. Jeez Chewie. He gets it okay! He feels guilty. No need to keep rubbing it in – just fix the hyperdrive!) To restart the glory days and all that. Can't keep a man like him locked up, sweetheart. They, of course, proceeded to get smashed.

Lando told him the next morning that after getting way too drunk, Han had propositioned him. Lando must have seen his horrified face because he quickly elaborated on what happened. Lando had responded to his come on with-

"Look, I'm flattered, and we had some good times. Like I always tell you and Leia, I'm there if you ever want to have some real fun. But Han, old buddy, your wife is terrifying. She may be tiny, but between her and Vader, I may prefer Vader."

That was mortifying, but he could have laughed it off except he had apparently burst into tears and told Lando that's one of the things he missed most about her. While Lando tried to comfort him about his terrible life choices, Han had then decided to cap off the night by vomiting all over his shoes. Han may have still been lonely and desperate enough to stay, but Lando was nice about it. He couldn't take the pity. So….currently not speaking to Lando.

Chewie was still with him. He can admit to being afraid Chewie would leave. Sure, there was the whole life debt thing, but Han honestly doesn't know that that would have been enough without Leia resting her small hand on Chewie's large furry arm and saying, "Take care of him for me. I couldn't bear it if something happened to either of you. I can't lose anyone else." 

He was abandoning her to deal with the Republic, the First Order, Ben, all of it, and she was still there taking care of him. He may have deserved Vader torturing him. Chewie stayed, but he doesn't talk unless absolutely necessary, preferring to communicate in judging looks and banging around in their ship's inner workings. He refuses to refer to the ship as anything other than the ship. It isn't the Falcon, so who cares what its name is.

Don't think about Leia. Don't think about Leia. Who is he kidding? She is all he thinks about, when not thinking about Ben. He doesn't talk to her because he's a monster and a fool. He doesn't know how to look her in the eye, so he runs and hates himself.

All of this is what led to him talking to Clyde, the probable poltergeist. Clyde showed up (or he started losing his grip on sanity) about two months ago. At first, there was some extra banging, hard to separate from Chewie's disapproval. Then things moving just a little bit. He was in the process of talking himself out of there being a ghost (Luke and Leia both said Force ghosts appear fully formed to speak, but they didn't really interact with the world around them) when the mirror incident happened a week and a half ago. He has actual proof of the existence of the Force ghosts Luke and Leia talk about because he isn't Force-sensitive and therefore, can't see them (seems fake but okay), but what he is experiencing seems different. It's writing his name in terrible penmanship, for example. 

Having ruled out Force guide, he settles on poltergeist because it seems stuck here and might be trying to scare him or cause mayhem. He names it Clyde because it is terrible at causing fear or mayhem, and Clyde seems like the name of a disaster ghost. He starts talking to Clyde because if it somehow was not clear before, he is also a disaster. And just really lonely, okay. He's thinking about Leia again. Sithspit. He probably shouldn't say that anymore.

He forces himself to look up from where he was burying his head in his arms, and Shavit! Clyde is real! And Clyde looks a lot like his father in law; you know before he was evil. Also, very blond.

"Hughhhhhh….." He sounds like an idiot.

"You can see me! Thank Force! I was beginning to think this would never…."

Han can't help himself. He shoots blond Vader in his stupid Sith face.

"Oh, real mature! I'm a ghost laser brain."

(What can he say. He was always a shoot first kind of guy.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Vaderkin and Han are finally together. Prepare for the shenanigans! Let me know what you think or if you have a character you are dying to see pop up. Comments and kudos are appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment or leave kudos if you enjoyed and want to see more. Next up is Anakin or Han whichever is more willing to cooperate…


End file.
